Mama Bear Love

“That brings out the mama bear in me,” a friend exclaimed. Most parents love their children with a love so powerful it’s scary. New parents are blown away by love when they see their newborn baby. It’s been said that becoming a parent is like having your heart walking around outside your body. Such fierce love causes parents to struggle with their children growing up in a world filled with danger, evil, and potential pain. We make it our goal to control our child’s life. We take on the impossible task of guaranteeing our child’s safety. Adding to our fear is the realization our child has the freedom to choose, and we can’t control their choices. When our child is forty-five, we’ll still want their safety, well-being and happiness. Once a parent, always a parent. Recently, our twenty-four year old son mentioned a health issue he has and indicated he has no plans to have it taken care of. I couldn’t sleep that night. I started imagining all the possible results. In my mind, he was headed to an early grave because he left this issue untreated. The next morning, I read about Abraham, Sarah and Hagar in Genesis 21. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son, even though Sarah was well past childbearing years. Sarah decided to help God by offering her servant, Hagar, to Abraham so he could have a son by her. Her plan was to then raise this son as Abraham’s heir. Hagar had a son but it didn’t work out the way Sarah thought it would. A few years later, God fulfilled His promise...

One Last Tear

My mom’s breath began to slow. It was 10 seconds between breaths, then 20, and then 30. There was one last breath. I realized that the first sound I heard on this earth, my mom’s heartbeat, was about to stop. Sobbing, my two sisters and I clung to our mom as a tear rolled down her cheek. Then her spirit was gone. In an instant, her body became an empty shell. As I gripped her hand, it became as lifeless as an empty glove. One last tear was shed. Did she cry for her daughters who were hurting? Did she cry at having to say goodbye? Maybe it was a happy tear as the veil was torn away and she saw glory. My sisters and I believe she shed a tear for us. She loved us well and with all her heart. In that moment, it was clear that this body we live in is just temporary housing. When her spirit left, the body was just an empty tent left behind. She wasn’t there anymore. It had been a difficult ten weeks. From the time my mom first fell and broke her hip, she faced one setback after another. She finally was put on hospice and we sat by her side for a week as her body slowly weakened. Here are some thoughts I meditated on as I sat there: Dying is hard. Regret is devastating. Moments are fleeting. Opportunities pass. There’s a last time for everything on earth. Seize the moment. Love well. Make eye contact while you can. Say I love you often. A person’s tent is...

Who Am I?

Often I forget life is not about me. I’m not the source of strength or truth in my life. I can’t produce one good thing in my own strength. My breath is a gift of grace from God. I can’t hold onto it or guarantee I will take another one. As I take a deep breath…that act is grace. Do I have hope? That is a gift. Do I have a moment of peace? Also a gift. Every second I spend with a loved one and look into their precious face is a gift. ALL good things come from our Creator Father. The ability to enjoy His gifts comes from Him. Life and death are gifts from Him. Life because it allows us to know Him. Death because it allows us to be with Him forever. I need reminders of who I am. I’m a receiver of His good gifts. I am… A branch not the vine. A creation not the Creator. A pencil not the source of truth A reflection not the light. A servant not the master. A voice not the message. One part not the body. Gifted not the gift. A messenger not the message. A channel not the source. Forgiven not sinless. In process not perfect. En route not at my destination. A singer not the song. A child. A follower. A believer. A vessel. Forgiven, loved, trusting. He is… The Creator. The Light. The Hope. The Master. The Message. The Author. The Giver of every good gift. He alone is worthy of praise, honor and glory. All that I am, I owe to Him....

What’s Required of Me?

“Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required.” Luke 12:48b (ESV) I’ve often heard that whisper from God. While worshiping and praising God at a concert recently, my heart was focused on Him. Once again that whisper came. “To whom much is given, much is required.” “What’s required, Lord?” I asked. “What does this mean?” He spoke to my heart. “What have you been given?” Lord, You’ve given me grace beyond measure, forgiveness for my sins, knowledge of your truth, and your everlasting love. You’ve given me physical well-being and health and you always meet my daily needs. You’ve given me opportunities to learn and grow, people who love me, and freedom to worship you. I’ve received love, joy, peace, forgiveness, grace, and truth and I’ve learned to trust you. If you’ve been given grace, give equal grace to others. If you’ve received forgiveness, forgive others more. If you’ve been encouraged, be quick to encourage. If your physical needs are met, meet the needs of those around you. If you know the truth, share the truth. If you are loved, then love freely. If you are strong, help those who are weak. I believe what’s required of me is to let all these blessings flow through me to others: to those around me who need grace, forgiveness, encouragement, a meal or daily needs. This isn’t something I can do on Sunday morning or Tuesday evening and then I’ve met my requirement. This is a way of living. This is an attitude, an outlook, a way of being. It’s a change of focus: a change from...

Looking for the Garden of Eden

“And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed…Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’…And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:8, 18, 25 (ESV) Aren’t we all searching for the Garden? Deep in our souls, we know that’s where we belong. Walking with our Father. Sharing our heart. Worshiping Him. Praising Him. Knowing His love. Love, perfect, complete “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” Genesis 3:6 (ESV) Yet, she was tempted. She wondered if there was more. She had everything. No need unmet. Unconditional love. Complete acceptance. Walking perfection. Pure heart. Untainted mind. And she wanted more. Perfection reached out for more. “Therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken.” Genesis 3:23 She lost the Garden. She lost perfection. She lost everything — Except what was most important. Unconditional love. His love cannot be thwarted. His Son took on flesh to mend what was broken. His Son suffered and died to restore that walk. Jesus restored what was lost. “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and...

I’ll take instant maturity, please

Grinning with pleasure, I watched my newly planted butterfly garden. The bold yellow of the yarrow and the vibrant orange of the blanket flowers were a great beginning, but I longed for all the green to turn to blossoms. I rushed out each morning, excited to see new blossoms, but nothing seemed to change. Gardening brings a great lesson in patience. Hoping for growth, we plant seeds or small plants where they will get sun, adding soil, food and water. It takes weeks, months or in some cases a year or more to get the full benefit of our labor. We must trust the food, water and sun to bring the seeds to full growth. Spiritual growth is the same. When I read an inspiring verse or book or hear an insightful sermon, I want the maturity offered right now. I read about loving others with all my heart and wonder the next day why I’m rude and uncaring. I learn about the power of thoughts and keeping them focused on truth and want victory that minute. Like my butterfly garden, spiritual maturity comes with time and the right conditions for growth. “But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.” Luke 8:15 (NIV) Perseverance produces a crop. If I want growth, I prepare my heart with prayer as I would prepare the soil. Letting the Holy Spirit break up the hard clods of sin, I plant the seeds of truth in the soil of my heart by reading and meditating...

Ditch the Labels

    You are irreplaceable. One in a hundred billion. * The only you. Unique in design. “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.” Psalm 139:13-15 (NASB) Designed by the Master Designer. Embroidered by God who lovingly chose each color. Your exclusive design and life experiences cannot be duplicated.   So let’s stop using labels to put people in groups.   A label only tells us one small part of who a person is. I’m an introvert but still different from every other introvert. I’m a white female but that doesn’t fully define who I am. I’m American but that doesn’t reveal my soul. Because I vote a certain way doesn’t mean I’m like all others who vote that way. To say someone is OCD, autistic, ugly or beautiful doesn’t tell me who he or she is. We are individuals. One of a kind souls wrapped in bodies unlike any other. Each of us is a wonderful miracle. Assigning you a label doesn’t mean I know you. To know each other we must communicate, listen, understand and love. We need to look for the exquisite colors He put in each soul. Some of us hide them well: we need to be willing to take as long as we need to see. Father, please help me to take...

A Pointing Finger, A Fiery Tongue

Regret crushed my heart as I realized I had unknowingly hurt a loved one with my judgmental attitude. She was brave enough to confront me and share her pain. I was shocked at first and defended myself but soon concluded that even if I didn’t remember that instance there were plenty of other times I had been disapproving and critical. God has been gradually opening my eyes for years to how judgmental and self-righteous I have been in my life especially when I was younger. When I was young it was easy to take on a few “rules” I knew I could keep and make that my measure of what kind of Christian I was. I chose certain rules (which were emphasized in my teaching) and hid behind them. Rules like don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t dance, stay a virgin till you’re married and go to church every week. I found I could manage these handpicked rules and got pretty good at keeping them. Soon I was proud of the fact I kept these rules and judged those who didn’t. All the while I was blind to what Jesus Himself said were the MOST important commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind… Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39 I overlooked or ignored teaching such as: “If I…do not have love, I am nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:2 “Love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13:10 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” Matthew 7:1 “…Who are you to judge your neighbor?” James 4:12b...

When My Ugly Is Showing

My selfish attitude slapped me in the face. I was in a situation where I realized my attitude was ugly, stingy and self-focused. And this was concerning my eighty-six year old mother! Wow, way to go self. As I thought back over the choices I’d made throughout the day I realized how self-focused I’d been. I felt helpless in the face of my own weak nature. My inability to be a good person. I’m not a good person by nature. When I operate in my own strength, I always default to selfishness. It’s only as I yield to Jesus and trust Him by faith to work through me that I can live and love as He wants me to. Words aren’t enough to express what His grace means. Amazing, astounding, glorious. How can words express thanks for such a gift? I had missed my prayer and Bible reading for 5 or 6 days before this instance and had been operating in my own strength. I was “doing” the right things but harboring a selfish attitude. Then I remembered: run to Jesus! He was right there loving me. He died so that I could come to Him aware of my own failure and sin. I cried out to Him and confessed my sin. I confessed my weakness and remembered how He loves me. How He has always been there to love and forgive, Running to Jesus is always the answer. When sin grips my heart, I run to Jesus. When problems rise like mountains, I run to Jesus. When that voice in my head says I’m a failure, I run...

What Fills My Heart?

“When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy…and the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.” Acts 13:45a, 52 (NIV) Looking at the Facebook post, my heart was filled with jealousy. Being filled with jealousy isn’t a pleasant experience! Success often fills my heart with pride. Computer glitches can fill me with anger. And left to myself, I default to selfishness. Being filled with the Holy Spirit and His joy are the best moments. I want to learn to continually seek His filling. But I can’t be filled with the Holy Spirit if I’m already full. If I’m filled with jealousy or pride, He is quenched. “Do not quench the Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19 (ESV) When I’m filled with anger, I don’t hear His voice. When I’m filled with impatience or unforgiveness, He is grieved. “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30 (ESV) Am I filled with lustful pleasure? Then I push Him aside. Am I obsessed with self? Then I don’t see Him. To be filled with the Holy Spirit, I must be emptied of pride, anger, unforgiveness, self-seeking and lust. This means I need be willing to let go of those sins. I can’t live without sin. I’ll never be perfect. But I can choose what I will seek. I can choose to let go when I’m convicted. I can change directions when I realize I’m headed the wrong way. I can look to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I can ask the Holy...