What do you do when you fall?

I lacked grace. Mercy was nowhere in sight. Instead, I chose to be headstrong, stubborn, and consumed with my own judgements. I was right, my friend knew it, and I certainly knew. In the heat of the moment, I was hell bent on making sure my thoughts were heard. Truth needed to be spoken, right? Yet, I sounded like nothing more than a clanging cymbal because I lacked love (1 Corinthians 13:1). As I focused solely on being right, I lost sight of the person standing before me. I diminished her situation, her struggle. I diminished her as I hurled my words at her. Negating the reason she had approached me, the reason the conversation began, I became wrapped in my own knowledge and insights. I puffed myself up to the point I nearly imploded. There she sat in front of me, wincing as I rubbed salt into her already wounded heart. I can prophecy and move mountains with my faith, but am nothing without love (1 Corinthians 13:2). While nearly breaking my arm patting myself on the back with how accurate my rebuttal was, I finally paused to look at my friend. Her head hung down. Her shoulders hunched forward as a gentle stream of tears flowed down her cheeks. What had I done? How could I have been so callous, so prideful? Was being right more important than helping her to navigate the situation she faced? Yes, she had made a poor decision, but now, so had I. Love protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7), but my words had lacked love. I had fallen hard,...

Breathe Mama, Just Breathe

I See You, Mama You are work so hard. I see you. Some of you are working in the home, and some out of the home. All of you invest so much of yourself into your family. There is little time for rest because you are caring so diligently for those around you. I see you. You are always prepared with band-aids, snacks, tissues, and hugs. Your words breathe life and love into the little souls clamoring for your attention. While a nap sounds wonderful, you choose to read a book one more time through weary eyes. You long for your own space, yet your arms ache to hold your little loves. I see you. Breathe, Mama I can hear the worry in your voice. You question if you are doing okay. Yes, I know you second guess your decisions and the way you interacted with them not too long ago. The hard situations, those tricky conversations cause you to wonder if you are up to this task of raising another human. Motherhood seems to be a continuing tug-o-war of wanting a few minutes alone and wanting to hold them close. I want you to know, Mama, you are doing okay. Take a deep breath: a deep, cleansing breath. You deserve those few moments alone, a few minutes of quiet, a bit of rest. Breathe, Mama. That hard conversation you were willing to enter? It made a difference. The decision you made to love fiercely in that hard situation? You made a bigger impact than you know. You Know There’s A Bigger Picture Train up a child in the...

What Will You Give?

Easter Week Easter is a few short days away. We will worship on Good Friday and rejoice on Easter Sunday. We know the story: Jesus came, was crucified, and rose again. The grave would not be his final resting place. No, Jesus would take his rightful place at God’s right hand. Days before Jesus’ crucifixion, religious leaders were yet again challenging Jesus’ authority. It is here, in the days before the cross, I have been challenged. Give It Away My husband and I are inconsistent about reviewing our budget. We know our expenses, and they do not change much month to month. I know how much to pull out for the upcoming month. We have tried, oh we have tried, with spreadsheets and conversations, to be diligent in this task. I promise we have. But, we are consistently inconsistent. There is one category, and only one, we have agreed will only see an increase: our giving. We give above the ten percent, but I wonder, are we giving as much as we could? Learn From A Widow And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.” (Luke 21:1-4) She gave all she had to live on: two coins worth very little. Yet, to the Savior? She gave a...

The Lie We Have Believed

You and I have bought into a lie. It was not intentional, on your part or mine. Slowly but surely, we have fallen deeper and deeper into its grasp. This lie has invaded our communities, our culture, and even our churches. I do not believe this lie was meant to harm us. No, the harm came when we took hold of it and ran away with it. We gave it more meaning than it was ever meant to have. We are the ones who gave it the wings now beating us senseless. What is the lie you and I have bought into? We are enough. I know: I am as shocked as you are. We are going to have to do some exploring to discover why the “you are enough” mantra is a lie. We are going to have to be honest. Yes, we are going to have to take a good, honest look at what those three little words mean, and at our own selves (gulp). But, we are women who desire freedom. There is no freedom in lies. We long to walk in truth because truth sets us free. You are enough. We read it, and we see it splashed across social media. How desperately we want to believe we are good, that we do not need to compare ourselves to others any longer. In our comparisons, we have begun to feel less than, and we are tired of it. Enough is enough because I am enough, we declare! We raise our fists and dare anyone to defy us. But sister, can I tell you what I...

I don’t need a cheerleader

Around every corner, the messages are shouted. You are enough. BeYOUtiful. You are strong. Just be you. You’ve got this. You are beautiful. These well meaning sentiments are splashed across social media pages and in the pages of magazines. May I be honest with you? I am tired of them: all of them. I have grown weary of the “I am woman, hear me roar!” anthem. Many days, I just want the pom-poms to be laid down. All these fancy, pretty posts telling me how strong and wonderful I am are utter fallacy. Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. (2 Timothy  4:2, NIV) I know myself. At forty-one years old, I can own up to my flaws. I wear makeup to hide and cover up facial features, and I select clothes to hide areas of my body. Honestly, I would prefer to not “just be me.” In a moment of “just being me,” I yelled at my daughter in the middle of Disney World. The harshness of my tone caused her eyes to fill with tears and her lip to tremble. Strong? Nope: not me, not then. I was tired, stressed over the rapid fire questions I was being asked, and completely incapable of handling it. In the crowd, in the constant motion and noise, I lost my mind. Seeing both my daughter’s reaction and the look of surprise on my husband’s face was enough for me to know I don’t got this. I don’t need a cheerleader to fill me with feel good messages....

Will you run to Him?

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10) Christmas decorations have been put away and a new year has begun. Hope fills the air as resolutions are being made. Some will repeat the resolutions of the previous year, while others will set out on new adventures. With the Christmas rush over, we now look forward to what awaits us in the coming days. Maybe this is the year you will experience healing. Maybe this is the year the promise you have been waiting for unfolds. Will this be the year that relationship finds reconciliation? Will this be the year grief begins to release its tight grasp? Maybe this will be the year of new and exciting adventures. Could this be the year hope and peace weave themselves into every fabric of life? Maybe this is the year breakthrough happens. In hopeful expectation, will you run to Him? As I set out in the new year and new adventures, I become easily engulfed in myself. I chart a course, and I venture out alone. All too soon, I become frustrated and exhausted. Surely all these goals will not go unmet. No, this is the year of checking all those ideas off my list! Right? But when I stop, in my weary and anxious state, I turn to find I have not been running toward the One who charted my course. He is calling you, by name, to come to Him. In the book of John chapter eleven, we are told of the death of Lazarus. Mary and Martha, Lazarus’...

I Pray You Hear Him

Who am I? What is my purpose? What is my calling? Am I doing what I should? Is that God’s voice I hear? What if I am not following His lead? Is this all there is? Where is God? Are my prayers being heard? Will God answer me? Why do I feel alone? Questions. Questions of faith, questions of purpose, questions of belief. We ask these questions often, sometimes angrily, sometimes out of our own weariness. We ask because we want answers. We ask because it feels good to be honest in our doubt. I ask many questions. There have been times I rapid-fired questions as if I were worried I would not be heard unless everything was shared. I have yelled my questions, and I have whispered them in between tears. I have so many of them, sometimes too many. I even question my questions. Why do I want to know that? Why is that important? Is my focus in the correct place? Maybe my faith is to small, and that is why I ask. Maybe I believe for too much. 7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8, NIV) God shows up in our questioning. As I read through Scripture, I see the power of questions. Will you heal me? Will you save your people? Will you send the rain? Will you come again? Where can I find the living...

Are you free?

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13, NASB) If the recent U.S. presidential election has shown me anything, it is how broken humanity is. I saw statements being made on social media that made me cringe. I shuddered as negative, condescending comments were slung haphazardly across the internet. Would we dare to speak those words if we were face to face? Maybe. Maybe not. Being able to voice our opinions while also respecting others seems to be quite the balancing act. We have teetered and tottered, and often crashed wildly into one another. You see, we are free to have our opinions. Certainly, we are free to believe passionately and strongly on issues. We are free to use our social media accounts as we choose. We are free, yet we live as though we are chained. In Galatians, Paul speaks of our freedom. His warnings then are valid now. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things you please. (Galatians 5:17, NASB) How do we know if we are being led by the flesh? Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the...

Are you able to say no?

No. It is a simple word. Two letters, one syllable. Why do so many women have a problem saying it? Even when they are tired, even when there are more pressing matters, women seem to struggle in responding with, “no.” Why do we think our answer should always be “yes”? I wonder, do we have an issue with control? Do we believe we are the only ones who can do a given task, and therefore rarely say no? Or, maybe it is an issue of self worth, or lack thereof. Do we say yes to one more committee, one more item on our to do list because we are trying to fill a void in our lives? Is it to feel needed? Maybe we rely too heavily on the accolades from others. We all like a pat on the back every now and then. Is that what is driving us? What results from being unable to say no? When we shout a resounding “yes!” to everything that comes our way, we exhaust ourselves. With our energy depleted, as we serve and serve some more, we have little left to give those who matter most. Our friends and families are usually left picking up our tired pieces. Even more than how exhausted we become, saying “yes” too often may cause us to miss the “yes” we are meant for. It is not that we should pull away from our community or  stop serving altogether. Yet, we need to be more careful, more discerning, about who or what receives our “yes.” There are many opportunities that present themselves, but I know...

Are you in the belly of a fish?

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” 3 But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. (Jonah 1: 1-3, NIV) The instructions were pretty simple. Jonah, go and preach. Yes, the city was wicked. Yes, the city and its residents needed a fresh infusion of Truth, with a side of Mercy. Go and preach. Instead, Jonah runs. Nineveh? No way. Jonah is out as quickly as a boat can take him. Did Jonah really believe he could deceive God? God sends a great wind, and a violent storm erupts at sea. The ship Jonah is hiding in is not at risk of being sunk. Jonah, in his first honest act, tells the ship’s crew he is the reason the storm rages. The crew asks Jonah what they can do to save the ship and their own lives. 2 “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.” Jonah tells the men to throw him overboard. I wonder if he thought he might drown at sea. Did he hope for his life to end? Was Jonah so unwilling to go to Nineveh that he preferred death? Instead, God sent a huge fish to swallow...