Unapologetically

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My daughter has a paint spinner. It pushes and flings colors in streaks and droplets. They puddle and spill over the edges, sometimes bleeding through the paper. The thrill of her work is that no two images will ever be the same.

By design, neither will we.

I am dormant in a bed of thorns. The unmistakable pounding in my chest, tightness in my throat has returned.

Anxiety. Depression.

Every single one of us can feel anxious: melancholy. Yet, to have it as a condition doesn’t require being shaken or stirred to wake it up. It comes from behind, squeezing the life out of precious moments, while you are strangely still physically present. You fidget and laugh, adrenaline rushing to your bones. You wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans as you change positions, hoping to relieve the dizziness and plaguing feeling to throw up. You wait out the moment, only to sink into a series of depressing afterthoughts about what happened. You wish you could control it…get rid of it.

But, you can’t. I certainly couldn’t.

That’s why I decided to get help. I began taking medication.

Friend, if you’re suffering from anxiety and depression, I’m not offering advice on what to do. My message is simple. If you are struggling, you’re not alone. And, it’s going to be okay.

“But you, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the {lifter of my head}…[Psalm 3:3 AMP]

When we are not of sound mind, God keeps His complete word to us. He empowers us to live unapologetically where we are. THIS is the thrill of the design of our lives.

Days ago, I ran an errand alone. Coming around a sharp bend, I looked straight ahead to see light draped over the tops of trees glowing green and yellow against a true blue stretch of the afternoon sky. I felt alive. For the first time in weeks, I emotionally connected to the beauty before me. God lifted my head. Glory and promise on display—the holy hush of a voice that helped me see and know.

Pray with me –

Though it appears as if we’re peering through a mist, it won’t be long before all is clear and our incompletes will be cancelled. Until then, we trust steadily in you, God. Our lives, as they are, may run off the edges. Help us to hope, unswervingly.

We offer our highest praises to you today. On the throne, you sit above every condition of our flesh, God. And, still, we remain your masterpiece.

 

Summer Pendley

Hi there 🙂 I'm Summer, daughter of Jesus...saved, restored, & known by Him. I've been married to my love, Jason, for 15 years, and am a happy mommy to a son, Noah, and daughter, Sailer. I love quiet mornings, coffee, listening to music, reading, running, and dreaming 😉 I'm passionate about simple things, and making time to encourage and love others well. The intentionality of Jesus, in pursuing me, hemming me in, gathering the ruins of my life, and lavishing grace over me overwhelms me daily. You'll find me here, in story after story of Him rescuing me, loving me, teaching me, and drawing me into worship. In honesty, I'll share of the emotional and psychological strains of my life & how Jesus continues to reclaim & rebuild, from the inside out. Let me always speak of His faithfulness & goodness...so that you will know that He is good.

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1 Comment

  1. So many live with anxiety and depression and suffer in silence.
    Thank you for sharing your heart. You have blessed me this morning!

    Reply

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