Revealed and Concealed

Light of a new dayIt was early on a Saturday, and the sun, burning through the morning mist, was slow to rise. Truth…there wasn’t much rise in me either. Sleepily, I rolled over, back towards the light, and fell into a heavy sigh.

It’s been my experience that even seasons of unrest gain energy and peace in the light of a new day. That’s why mornings, to me, are special. Light brings so much promise, hope & joy that I find myself walking from window to window in our home, chasing it. But, this day, I didn’t even want to get up. Somewhere in the night, I had been robbed, ravished by something…or so it seemed.

For days after this, I pushed through, as we often do. Every now and then, when thoughts would catch up to me, I’d remember what I felt & notice that it was still there, amidst all of the busyness. When Monday came & kids were sent to school, I sat down in the quiet with Jesus, and found myself in the pages of Luke, chapter 18, about the rich young ruler. This is a story that I knew well, but my eyes kept circling back to this particular part of verse 23…

‘When he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich.’ [esv]

What Jesus told the ruler (to sell all of his possessions) was just about the last thing he thought he’d hear; and it made him sad. My spirit was jarred at this! The thought came to mind, ‘the man pitied himself, and you do, too.’ I sat, and I thought, and I quivered and I cried. Could self-pity be a possession of the heart? If so, it was indeed in mine.

When I struggle & sin, I feel pity…

When I have to wait on God, I feel pity…

When I see others blessed in front of me, I feel pity…

When I feel insignificant and out of purpose, I feel pity…

I’m seemingly more devoted to it than Jesus Himself.

For a moment, all was quiet. My sleepy spirit was awake, but my mind was completely void before God. Thoughts, even words, were far from me. I often hear people say, ‘I got nothing.’ Now, I related. And, it was almost as if God responded with ‘Good. This is right where I want you.’

‘Immense in mercy and with an incredible love, God embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive with Christ…he has us where he wants us, with all the time in the world to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him. God does the making and the saving…’ [ephesians 2 – the message, paraphrased]

Sisters, where pity was pressing in, mercy was more, and I knew Jesus would faithfully preserve me. Feeling disoriented in my response was a gift—a gracious one—where my heart was protected from the harsh words I would’ve spoken against it.

When we speak and sing of ‘afflictions eclipsed by his glory’…let THIS be the chorus of the day, because when we realize the way God loves us, we needn’t maintain regrets about our hearts, no matter what is possessed there.

Open your hands and pray with me here…

Lord Jesus, you’ve made me awake! I don’t want to turn my back on your light. Stream it in, God! Fill every room of my heart, and do not let me dwell on what is found. Give me words only to thank you and praise you, not to speak in shame. I’m bending beneath your mercy now, which reveals and conceals, and my hands are open! Bound with JOY, center my passion, devotion and affection on you alone and give me rest there.

Summer Pendley

Hi there 🙂 I'm Summer, daughter of Jesus...saved, restored, & known by Him. I've been married to my love, Jason, for 15 years, and am a happy mommy to a son, Noah, and daughter, Sailer. I love quiet mornings, coffee, listening to music, reading, running, and dreaming 😉 I'm passionate about simple things, and making time to encourage and love others well. The intentionality of Jesus, in pursuing me, hemming me in, gathering the ruins of my life, and lavishing grace over me overwhelms me daily. You'll find me here, in story after story of Him rescuing me, loving me, teaching me, and drawing me into worship. In honesty, I'll share of the emotional and psychological strains of my life & how Jesus continues to reclaim & rebuild, from the inside out. Let me always speak of His faithfulness & goodness...so that you will know that He is good.

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1 Comment

  1. good post, bless you.

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