My unruly mood. That small 4-letter word whose power— depending on the day— was either a game changer or a potential hazard to the smallest of audiences. A female, I received the time-honored “gift” of emotions. This distinctive DNA, once erupted, usually caused a volcano of words to descend on helpless victims in my path. As a young mother in a new city, emotions carved themselves into the #1 spot on my list of causes for regrettable behavior. My moods were more of a liability than an asset in early 2000, and if left unchecked they could alter the happiness of my relationships into deep sorrow.
And yet, God’s word said:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)
Often scratching my head, I would re-read that verse.
Fearfully and wonderfully made…hmm
I wondered to myself if fearful was understood as another’s experience of my moods? And wonderful? Did that word fit in the world of hormones?
On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it? (Romans 9:20)
I understood the omniscient God did not make mistakes.
He knew exactly what kind of deep feelings he put in the hearts he created.
Daily, I reminded myself of these unshakable truths before setting my heart to confession.
(Fast forward, 2017)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Fearless choices. What I recognize today is how God wove my moods into a perfect path to be used for him. I now see strength, sweetened with emotion, that is crucial for making certain choices. Fearless ones. The ability to stand undaunted facing obstacles has to do with the emotional response of my heart toward God, and toward the things that move his heart. It’s as if, with the proper amount of self-control and wisdom, my emotions have become catalysts for where God is leading in my life. In my early 30s, God knew certain choices ahead would need deep anchors to hold me to my courage. They would require emotional generators to blaze the trail. I see how God has worked a unique DNA to broaden my thinking and deepen my service to him and his children. No, God did not mistake what he placed in me, because our broken world needs it for such a time as this. My feelings have stepped out in faith in front of Target, Starbucks, local schools and neighbor’s houses to help wounded hearts. They have produced hugs, words of encouragement, thoughtful listening, and quality moments of sharing. Over time, God has allowed my moods to work for his good.
If today you find yourself on a roller coaster of emotions where your moods have spoken too harshly, run away too quickly, or over- analyzed every detail of a situation, be encouraged. For in your weakness, He is making himself known to you. And if God is revealing to you a part of who He is in light of who you are, get ready! He is sure to use that knowledge, in perfect time, for the good of those around you.
A Fearless Prayer
Today, when it’s hard to follow… I pray you will still
Or when you are hard pressed to explain… I pray you try again
During times when you fall short of setting a good example I pray you won’t get consumed by the fiery malice of self-criticism
As on those days when you fail to speak up or stay true,
Your deep river heart, I pray, won’t change course in the flight of many moods
Ahead when you lie still, buffered from chatter, in skin shaping the future
I pray you honor the fearless One, and all he holds for the coming days
Because God is unchanging
You can rest in the certainty of his love
Laying claim to the emotions inside your heart