No More People Pleasing! It’s Okay To Be YOU!

Photo Credit: Image ID : 40627349 // Image Type : Stock Photo // Copyright : vician 

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 ESV

Do you want everyone to like you?
Do you spend time trying to make sure everyone is happy?
Does it worry or bother you if you think someone doesn’t like you?

Then chances are, my friend, that you are a people pleaser.

Oh, I am right there with you on this one. Honestly, I’m not exactly sure when it started for me but for the most part, I can remember that most of my entire life I’ve wrestled with wanting people to like me.

I guess it was one thing when I was an awkward teenager, or the constant “new girl” in school (yep, went to 3 high schools), but for crying out loud, I’m a grown woman now: what’s the deal?

It wasn’t until the last few years, particularly this last year, that I’ve really started to wrestle with letting this whole people pleaser thing go.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who is or has wrestled with this, so let me share with you what God has been teaching me about what’s wrong with being a people pleaser.

  • I’m not being true to who God has called me to be if I’m trying to be something I’m not.
  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139)
  • I am not perfect. (Romans 3:10)
  • I can’t make other people like me and it’s okay if they don’t. (Galatians 1:10)

Listen, sweet friend, we can’t be everything to everyone, so why don’t we just try to be the best  (insert your name here) we can be for HIM. Because in all reality HE is the only one that it really matters what He thinks of us. Right?

but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4 ESV

Until you and I stop trying to please everyone else and start trying to please God, we will forever be stuck in the cycle of being a people pleaser…and if we’re honest with each other, we really need (and want) to grab hold of this whole “No More People Pleasing!” idea.

So, let’s do it — starting right now!

Say it out loud with me: “I’m done being a people pleaser; I’m ready to be a God pleaser!”

Here are a couple of things you can do get on the road of no more people pleasing:

  1. Grab your Bible and look up the verses I’ve listed above, then take some time to physically write them out some place where you can see them a few times each day.
  2. Get out your journal and write out what you hope to accomplish by letting go of your people pleasing ways and what you hope God does when you become a God pleaser.
  3. Spend some time in prayer, asking God to release you from the need to get approval from others and to show you how to earnestly seek your approval from Him.

Sweet friend, together with God’s grace, peace, strength, wisdom and discernment we can take a step of releasing the stuff that holds us back (Hebrews 12:1) and run toward being the women He has created us to be.

What about you?

  • Do you wrestle with being a people pleaser?
  • If so, what do you do to help fight against that?
  • If not, then how can you be an encouragement to those who do?

Here’s an Instagram sized reminder just for you…enjoy!

NoMorePeoplePleasing_IG_MelissaMashburn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Melissa Mashburn

Melissa is a woman who is passionately pursing God every day by taking her everyday, ordinary life and placing it as her offering to Him. With a heart to "keep it real" her life and ministry is all about "Real Women, Real Life, Real Faith" in action. She's an author, speaker, Pastor's Wife, Connections Director at her church, ministry leader and more importantly mom to two adult sons, Nick & Bailey. Melissa has been married to her best friend, her true North, Matt for 22 years, they live and enjoy ministry life in Sunny South Florida.

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6 Comments

  1. this hits right at home. Lately, as in the past year, I have been making marked changes in my mental fortitude to release myself from the incessant need to for the approval of others. I have been enslaved to this mentality for so long, and the stress of it was beginning to send me into anxiety. I realized this was not the abundant living God called me to. It has been a journey. But I have begun to be more honest about my opinions and feelings and , more bold to share them with others. I admit I still internally brace myself for the responses, and the questioning looks from people who are accustomed to me always going with the flow. It is amazing, however, the release and freedom of allowing people to know the real me, even if it means their discovery that I wasn’t quite being the real me all along. But the ones who are willing to weather this transformation of me becoming who God created me to be in him, not according to their expectations, are the ones worth keeping around I say.

    Reply
    • Chantel, good for you…it’s a one day at a time transformation. It doesn’t mean that you don’t “care” about what others think, but rather you care more about what God thinks than them. It’s not easy, trust me on this, but day by day you (and I) can get stronger and closer to the women He has called us to be by releasing the need to be people pleasers. Godspeed on your journey! ~ Melissa

      Reply
  2. very powerful, and so true. I totally get this, thanks.

    Reply
  3. Oh my goodness! What a valuable lesson and wonderful reminder this is!
    I’ve learned that, in striving to please GOD, I reach my fullest potential and am the best “me” because I am who HE created me to be. Even so, I STRUGGLE when I feel that someone is unhappy with me. So thankful for God’s grace, mercy, and boundless love that keeps drawing me back to His truth.
    I NEEDED this today. THANK YOU!!!!

    Reply
    • Wonderful comments Michele!I do believe that if each of us cares, takes time to do something good for the next person, world will be a better place. remember? “Play it fod2arr&#8w21; – there is no reason why that wouldn’t work! And I sincerely hope that you will continue to read what I have to share and please feel free to share it with all your friends – that will definitely be a good thing!

      Reply

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