I’m going to start right out being more real that I want to be. Last night was rough. What kind of rough, you might wonder? It was homework rough. I’m going to be the bad mom in the group and say out loud, I don’t like homework. And it’s not because it is high school trigonometry or anything. We’re dealing with 1st grade math and reading.
The evening started with me wrestling to put drops in her ears which was a like lassoing an octopus. It seems easy enough but when it comes right down to it, all those arms just get in the way.
Then we set out to conquer her one little math paper. Just one, but in my defense it was both sides. The hardest part is keeping her focused. It goes something like this:
Me: Okay, number one. Let’s draw a word picture for 3 plus 4.
Lauren: What is 3 plus 4?
Me: You have to add it together.
Lauren: Can you add it? How much is it?
Me: Lauren, this is YOUR math homework, not mine. How much is 3 plus 4?
Lauren: Mommy, did you know that _____ stuck his tongue out at me today?
Me: He did? Well that wasn’t nice. Now what is 3 plus 4?
Lauren: *bursting into sobs* It hurt my feelings!!
Me: Okay, I’ll talk to the teacher about _________. Now…back to the paper. What is 3 plus 4?
Lauren: I told the teacher and she said it’s not true. *more sobs*
Me: What? She accused you of lying? *me getting my dander up*
Lauren: ______ told her he didn’t do it and then we played at recess. *sobs turn to smile*
Me: Well good! Okay then, what is 3 plus 4? *dander back down*
Lauren: Mommy I’m thirsty. *dander through the roof*
We did make it to number 2, and eventually finished both sides of the paper. By the end of it all my dander was not only up, but over and around and spinning like a tornado through the kitchen.
I homeschooled my first three kids by the grace of God and I send Lauren to a nice little Christian school with that same grace. I love how He leads all of us in different ways in different seasons. But that’s not the point of this post…that was just a freebie.
Later that night as I tucked her down in bed, I thought about how frustrated I had become with her during the evening and it made me sad. Look at thatprecious little girl all snuggled up in bed. The one that just an hour ago I had threatened with time outs and sugars fasts to get a page of homework done. (The sugar fast would have been for me, by the way. It’s far more punishment for them when I don’t have sugar than when I take it away from them).
As I walked downstairs I thought about how difficult motherhood can be and how God so totally understands that. I tweeted this that night: “Moms: I just want to give you a twitter high five. You are probably way too hard on yourself. #momsrock”
The response was overwhelming. Apparently I’m not the only one beating myself up for being a rotten mom with a sugar addiction. We all struggle, so I want to share this with you:
He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. Isaiah 40:11 NLT
If He’ll do this for sheep, I’m quite certain He’ll do it for us. I count on this one. I need Him to gently lead me so that I can gently lead my kids. Gentle doesn’t come natural for me, but it does for Him so I’m bowing before Him to help me.
I don’t always enjoy all the steps of parenting, but I do love my children and know that when I lean on Him, He is there to hold me up.
High five girls, you’re good moms. We got this!