Unpacking Suitcases

There’s a song that frequently plays on my local radio station called “Suitcases.” Through the lyrics, Dara Maclean tells us to drop the baggage holding us down so we can run toward the victorious life God plans for us. I love the idea of shucking off the gunk of our past, but I don’t think it’s as easy as dropping our luggage on the roadside. Often, to truly grab hold of our freedom in Christ, we need to start with a bit of unpacking.  We need to sift through our typical responses until we get at the feelings buried underneath. Or more accurately, we need to allow God to expose those heart-shielding barriers that get in His way. Otherwise, we’ll continually dredge through life with a grin-and-bear-it approach, lingering on the edge of transformation without ever experiencing the full metamorphosis.

This road to transformation begins with an honest, heart-felt prayer, modeled for us in Psalm 139:23-24,

“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Our actions, reactions, and perceptions are often the result of our past experiences. Sometimes this is obvious. You burn your hand on a hot stove. This motivates you to cook with care the next time. But other times, figuring out the why takes a bit more searching. Hence David’s prayer.

The Hebrew word translated as heart in verse 23 is lebab which means: the mind, heart, will, inner man. This is the deep chamber of our being—where we attempt to hide our fears, wounds, and scars. Perhaps even from ourselves. Only God sees it all, but it doesn’t drive Him away. Instead, it draws Him to us. His greatest desire is that we let Him in, cooperating with Him as He searches our hearts and minds with the care of a trained surgeon slicing out cancerous tumors.

Once we’ve prayed to God, asking Him to search our hearts, He’ll begin to point out areas in need of change. Often this begins by revealing our patterns of behavior.

Are there times when your reactions seem a bit extreme? An email spurs a sudden burst of anger or a certain conversation topic sets your nerves on edge? Chances are, a wound lies below the surface, resulting in fear and self-protection.

A friend of mine loved to meal plan. She kept her pantry and fridge stocked, and grew uncomfortable when things didn’t go according to plan. Upon first glance, her actions appeared to be motivated by a sinful need to control things. This in turn encouraged her to try to do better, but although she could change her outward behavior, to an extent, her strong emotional reactions remained.

Over time, as she began to think about the intense feelings surrounding meals and food, she began to realize her desire to control was rooted in fear. As a child, her family went through a period of financial instability and during that time, food was rationed. As an adult, although her logical mind knew she and her husband had plenty in the bank and a well-stocked cupboard, fear lingered in the deep recesses of her heart. This new, God-given understanding allowed her to unpack that item from her suitcase.

God wants to do the same with us. He wants us to unpack all those buried wounds from our past, but we can’t stop there. Unpacked clothes, if not put away correctly, leave quite a mess. Once God reveals the behavior and shows us the root cause, we need to pray for healing. Think back to that initial gut-reaction. What feeling or feelings arose?  Fear? Anger? Bitterness? What emotions might God want to replace those negative feelings with?

This is where the road gets a little bumpy. Someone once told me it’s like the skin-grafting burn victims go through. In order to graft in the healthy tissue, the scarred material must first be ripped off. Often the healing process is painful and hard. Sometimes God will walk us through our worst fears in order to show us His unchanging nature. But as with the burn patient, God’s goal is not our pain, but instead, our ultimate healing. For as the Psalmist says in Psalm 139, God knows everything about us, and His thoughts toward us outnumber the sands on the seashore. He stands before us and behind us. His love encompasses us like an ever-protective Father. And He forever looks on us with love. The best way to experience His healing love is to draw near to Him during those gut-wrenching reactions, instead of pulling away. The results will move us past a teeth-gritting, “Git ‘er done” to a heart-felt transformation.

Join Jennifer Slattery at Jennifer Slattery Lives Out Loud as she blogs about God’s love and grace.

Jennifer A. Slattery

Jennifer Slattery lives in the midwest with her husband of 16 years and their fourteen year old daughter. She writes for Christ to the World Ministries, the ACFW Journal, the Christian Pulse, and Jewels of Encouragement. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications and E-zines including the Breakthrough Intercessor, the Bible Advocate, Bloom!, and the Christian Fiction Online Magazine. She's also contributed to the following: Love is a Flame, published by Bethany House (under a pen name), A Still and Quiet Soul published by Leafwood Publishers, and Kernels of Faith published by Majesty House.

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