When Going to School is Plan B

On my son James’s first day of school I cried. Not typical sad mommy crying. I locked myself in the bathroom and bawled for thirty minutes. Nothing was going according to my plan. I wanted to homeschool our boys, but instead, I was walking my three year old baby into the public elementary school to his special education preschool class.

Just a few weeks before, we had taken him to be evaluated. We knew something was wrong. He was literally speechless, unable to say more than a few words. He also didn’t make eye contact, didn’t interact with his big brother, and didn’t even play with toys like other kids. After being observed by two therapists and a psychologist, they told us what we had suspected–he was autistic. 

When you get a diagnosis like autism, the dreams you have for your child die. You mourn for what might have been. The saying in the autism world is that if you know someone with autism, you know one person with autism. Because it is a spectrum disorder, people with autism have different symptoms and behaviors. We weren’t sure if James would ever communicate with us, play with his brother, or get potty trained. During that time I clung to Psalm 126:5, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” I prayed that God would work in our lives to bring joy again.

Earlier this week when I dropped James off for his first day of school for this new school year, he said, “Go to school!” and called his teacher by her name. Since his diagnosis in January, he’s received occupational and behavioral therapy, we’ve changed his diet and reduced the toxins in our home, and we’ve had help from his developmental preschool staff. The old dreams we had for him have been replaced with new ones.

There are days I’m still sowing in tears and there are days I’m shouting with joy (and to be honest, sometimes I do both in the same day!). God meets me with grace to do what He has called me to do. No matter what our children’s needs or special needs are, God is faithful. He is faithful to equip us to parent our children, and He is also faithful to provide help to those of us who need it. Even when, (especially when) getting help was plan B.

Sandra is a pastor’s wife and co-schooling mom to two boys, who is also in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. This fall she is releasing her first eBook, Speechless: Finding God’s Grace in My Son’s Autism. You can learn more about the book on its Facebook page. You can get to know her family on their blog, Celebrate Every Day.

Additional Resources:

Autism Speaks: It’s time to listen.

Autism Apps from Autism Speaks

Jenifer Jernigan

Jenifer has a past that would spill over into her present if it weren’t for the magnificent grace of Jesus and His powerful healing hand. She is the wife of Chris and the momma of three precious children, Hannah, Will, and Lydia. Her days are spent homeschooling her kiddos, getting lost in a sea of words, sipping on delicious cups of her favorite coffee, and chasing hard after the One who saved her.You can visit with Jenifer and Diving Deeper Ministries where she encourages all to dive deeper into God's Word and live abundantly in Christ.

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