Submit to your husband.
Why is it, this very short sentence makes my emotions bristle?
For far too many years the teachings from Ephesians 5:22 have been misunderstood and misrepresented. So let’s have some real and honest talk about God’s intention of this passage and let’s take it a step further. Can you submit to your unbelieving husband?
• Submission does not mean that women are less valuable than men.
• Submission does not mean that women should not share their opinions.
• Submission does not mean blind obedience.
• Submission does not mean a dictatorship.
Juli is spot on.
The longer I travel this complex and fascinating marriage road, the more I discover new depths of God’s brilliance in the union of a man and woman. Let’s think through God’s Big picture in marriage. In Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (NIV)
I’m coming to the conclusion that most of us wives don’t truly understand our part in this passage. We interpret the “helper” as a co-partner to all tasks and needs within the marriage and family.
We as brides step into marriage with the concept that our men are fully developed as a man. We ignore or don’t understand that men have been raised to project a facade of strength, yet every man carries within him a fragile sense of worth and competence. (pg. 24)
The truth is that wives are destined by God to use our influence as a suitable helper to build his self-confidence, to teach him how to be a fantastic father. To model vulnerability and quiet strength. It is our God given calling to share decisions and then support our man as he works through his insecurities to find the bold confidence that God greatly desires for him. And this process takes a lifetime.
God trusts us wives with this vitally important task. He asks us to help shape our husbands all the while going about the process in a way that reflects respect, deep love and acceptance to our man. Isn’t that exactly what God is slowly doing in our lives as women?
True and Godly submission is the greatest gift we can give our husband and when we use our influence in this way we are actually the ones who gain the most in the end.
Let me be specific. A man who is consistently told by his wife that he’s not doing this right or that right or told that he’s not striving hard enough, he isn’t romantic enough, that he bought the wrong flowers for her birthday, who isn’t ever good enough,etc. This man gives up trying out of frustration. So in the end, no flowers come on her birthday, he stops trying to do anything around the house and forget spending time with his wife, she only makes him feel bad about himself.
On the flip side when we don’t set boundaries in marriage and use our God given influence, we allow our husband to walk over our feelings and wishes. The practice of compromise is surrendered in the name of non-confrontation. This man becomes a tyrant and a bully. He doesn’t learn to love with patience and learn to be an understanding father. Regrettably the wife lives without a voice and is unfulfilled as a woman.
It’s never too late to change your marriage. Change begins slowly and is absolutely possible through the power of the Lord, Jesus Christ. This day offer up your marriage in a prayer to understand fully your vital role as a Genesis Wife.
Some of the most powerful and effective prayers I have uttered for my own marriage is a request for God to give me His discernment and wisdom to ‘know” how to pray for my husband. To see areas where he is insecure or even mistaken in his thinking. I beg the Lord to give me a wide open door to bring these discussions up in our marriage. And you know what happens.
God shows Himself faithful and will honor my deep desire to be a true helper to my husband, even my unbelieving husband.
Don’t be frightened by this lil’ ole word submission. Be empowered by the Lord God, Almighty.
Be blessed, Lynn
I would be greatly honored if you would share your thoughts, stories and wisdom from your marriage. Visit me at WinningHimWithoutWords.com. Click on Share Your Story and leave me your thoughts and lessons about submission that can help others on the path behind you.
I speak a great deal about submission in my book Winning Him Without Words. To order your copy, please stop over at winninghimwithoutwords.com.
And for more encouragement for your marriage, visit me daily at spirituallyunequalmarriage.com. Hugs, Lynn
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Congratulations to Henriete! Please send an email with your address to Marsha, our Marriage Counter editor, at email@example.com. We’ll get this book out to you this week.