In 2010, I read a ton of books written by Christian leaders. I felt like God opened my mind, and the insights from these amazing men and women poured into my soul. However, something began to irritate me – I became a little jealous of God’s glory in these people’s lives. His Spirit shone in brilliant colors that seemed to overshadow my seemingly lackluster life.
For example, one leader saw the physical manifestation of Jesus during a very difficult time in his life. Another leader witnessed the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, which came down on his audience like fire. And another leader performed a miraculous healing with the power of Jesus’ name. I began to feel inadequate because I had never experienced any of these things, and I desired so much to see God’s glory in my life.
I contemplated all of this while I was helping my kids color at the kitchen table. I had just bought a jumbo box of crayons, and I was intrigued by all the shades of the same color. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to pick a color. I chose pink. Then He told me to gather all the shades of pink I could find. He had me write the name of each crayon in its color on a piece of paper. By the time I was done writing all the shades of pink, I had a list of over 20 colors. I folded the paper and stuck it into the pocket of my jeans. I knew God was going to teach me something.
Once I put my kids to sleep for naptime, I went into my closet to pray and read my Bible. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to take the list out and look at it. I unfolded it and looked from one color to the next, analyzing how each color name fit its shade. Some pinks were bright with a hint of orange. Others were bold with a lot of red. While others were so pale that they were almost transparent.
God asked me, “Which color do you like best?”
I scanned the list and chose mauve.
“Why do you like mauve,” He asked.
“It’s subtle, earthy and not overtly showy,” I said. Though I appreciated the brighter and more visible shades of pink, I liked the low-key, yet deep shade of mauve. (Come to find out that mauve is more of a purple, which so happens to be my favorite color!)
God then said, “Mauve is my shade of love for you. It is how My glory appears in your life. I show Myself in the normal activities of your day—very subtle, but always special.”
I thought about this for a moment, and I understood what God was saying. I see God in everything around me: I see Him in a bird flying, I see Him in my kids, I see Him in a song on the radio, I see Him in my memories and my daily activities. I see Him in the small nuances of my life; and His glory in me is just as powerful and amazing as His glory in the prophet, the preacher and the healer. I see God face to face, and His presence lives in and through me. He is my Mauve God.
"With him [Moses] I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the LORD" (Numbers 12.8a).