Pity Party

I recently hosted and attended a party.

I was the only attendee and that was perfectly fine with me. It was after all my party.

My “pity party.”

It began with a series of “not so unfortunate” events, but rather daily life that sent me reeling into “party mode.” By the time it was all said and done, it turned into an extravaganza that lasted a few days.

The “Woe is Me” band played well into the night.

My pity party. Ever hosted one?

When life overcomes us, the daily battles drain us, we often find ourselves renting the party room. The pity party room. We know that our circumstances can’t begin to compare with the true suffering that exists in the world and yet nothing will stop the dismal dance. We plummet head first into this pitiful distraction that is clearly a waste of time.

“But, but, but…I’m entitled to my pity party, right?”

After my recent party with myself, I asked the same questions. I thought I was entitled to a bit of “self pity” over life’s circumstances. I deserved it, right?

I was convicted. Not so fast sister. (It became clear that it was the Holy Spirit who was convicting me, since I was clearly the only attendee at this party of mine. )

“Remember that reminder James gave, that verse you SAY is your favorite? That verse about “joy”? There’s nothing in there about taking time out to have a pity party. Not a word. In fact it’s the contrary. It tells us clearly that we are to have JOY in all circumstances. “

Party over. Bye bye band.

It was time to take an inward look and expose it for what it really was. Doubt. Fear. Frustration. Boredom. Pride.

My pity party was riddled with these “guests of honor .”  It was time to turn the lights out on this party of mine.

It was time to take all of the circumstances that overwhelmed my spirit and bring them to the only host worth talking to. It was time to take my burdens to the foot of the cross. He promises to meet me there. He promises to guide. He promises to walk beside me. Why did I ever, for a moment, think that I had to go it alone? Should the urge to “pity party alone” strike, resist the urge. Resist the urge to hostess this one. Instead, take you and your pitiful self to the exalted Christ. He sits waiting to listen, waiting to encourage you on the journey of life. Dig in. There’s peace, not pity, to be found.

That sounds more  like a party now, doesn’t  it??

Lori MacMath

Lori's daily mantra includes praying, "I will take it Lord, ALL you have to give," and a commitment to live out Colossians 3:17 daily. It's her prayer that the energy that fills her spirit be with her till her dying breath! Nearly two years ago, Lori traded the sauna of the Deep South, for the snow of Chicago. After 19 years in Atlanta, Lori has bought herself a coat and some winter boots and is ready for the NEXT adventure at Harvest Bible Chapel / Chicago West. She navigates this road with her husband of 26 years and they have 3 children, ranging in age from 17 - 22. She seeks daily to be creative and use the gifts the Lord has given her. With the heart of an artist and a spirit to live intentionally missional, Lori strives daily to see Him in all that surrounds her. Encouraging women on their daily walk with the Lord is her passion! She has recently stepped out into NEW territory with her husband in the inner city of Chicago. She is on staff at Harvest Chicago West, in the Austin neighborhood, where the Lord is opening her eyes to Urban Ministry and Discipleship. Lori and her husband also have a Business as Missions endeavor that helps empower women and missionaries around the world. She would be HONORED if you'd visit Hope Products International where providing HOPE to the world through fair trade and sustainable products. Lori has served in a number of roles over the years, ranging from Camp/Leadership Adventure Coordinator, a mid week Bible club for elementary and upper elementary students in a local public elementary school as well as being on staff at her church. She is excited in this season to watch the Lord unfold HIS plans for the next step on the journey. Helping others, loving others where they are and seeing the transforming power of Jesus is at the heart of all she does. Her heart for children, women and all those on the broken road is at the core of everything she does. She LOVES playing graphically and encouraging others through visual arts, and her passion for Discipleship is at the heart of all she does. It truly inspires her and fills her spirit.

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  1. Lori – I’ve often hosted these “pity parties” – complete with a full orchestra and a little “whine” with my cheese. You are right, we often quote the verses in James and they don’t mention self-pity. Jesus never had a pity party – even on His way to the cross. I have to ask myself, why then do I think I’m entitled to have one.

    Great post!

  2. Really enjoyed your post today. I have hosted several of these party but not THE Business CLOSE Sign is up! Be Bless

  3. Pity Parties!!! I have had my share. But as I read this blog I make notes to myself. that 1. I am never alone. It has been after the whine and cheese has been served up that I remember… 2. My pain can not be as serious as that of Jesus when he was NAILED to that cross. I then soften the music and say a prayer for those who have issues much greater than my own. I shut the music off and close my eyes and remember 3. The answers I need come in whispers and seconds…
    It’s okay in my book to be a little selfish to cry when you are hurting, to be sad and to feel anger and frustration. It is even better when you know that with just some time, some quiet and some faith…to know, this too shal pass.

    Thank you for sharing that with me today.
    God Bless!

  4. Bless you for your honest heart, bless you.

  5. Joan! Indeed there was “whine” at my party as well…and as a friend reminded me this morning, the only guest I forgot was “JOY.” Pride, frustration, fear and jealousy got their invitations, but not Joy. Perhaps we don’t bring “self pity” into the conversation because it’s a bit “too personal.”

    Denise, I’ve learned transparency is indeed the only way to authenticity.

    Meg, it does encourage me as a “sojourner” that there are others who struggle on this journey as well. I’m grateful for the perspective that He reveals when I’m all “wrapped up in myself.”

    Helen, I had a feeling there were a few of us out there who had hosted a time or two! 🙂 blessings to you as well!

  6. Oh Lori girl. Sooooo been there. FABULOUS reminder. We deserve NOTHING but His condemnation – and we don’t get it. How can we POSSIBLY feel sorry for ourselves when we have His grace and mercy?

    Loved this.

  7. What a well written post Lori! My mom and I really enjoyed reading this, and you have a such a great and humorous writing style. We related. We loved it!

  8. Girl, I just love that He has us on the exact same path right now, Joy, Joy, JOY, there is so much more to be joyful about than to have pity party about! I love your heart, love your transparency and love calling you friend!

    xoxo, Mel <3


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