Marriage Q & A ~ Advice I Wish I’d Been Given BEFORE I Got Married – Part 2 Money and Debt

Welcome to the Marriage Q & A’s series on advice we wish we’d received BEFORE we got married.  Two weeks ago we learned some helpful problem solving tips. This week we’ll be covering money and debt, the #1 reason for divorce even among Christians.  I’ve had several questions come to me concerning this area.

After getting married, were you surprised to learn your spouse had a large student loan or credit card debt?  Or maybe your husband was married previously and is paying child support and you find yourself bothered by the amount of income that is not available to your family.

If you and your spouse were not open and honest with one another in the area of money and debt before marriage, chances are it has been and continues to be a huge thorn in your marriage.

Mike and I came into marriage totally opposite.  His parents lived frugally on a budget his mom oversaw.  I came from a family that was hounded by bill collectors and massive debt.  My mom was always in the dark about the finances and my dad took us to ruin on more than one occasion.  Before we got married, we never discussed money at all.  Mike just assumed I would/could handle the finances because his mother always did.  I thought, how difficult can this be.  This lack of communication led us to ruin.

It wasn’t until God dealt with both our hearts in that we (and our finances) were transformed.

Financial Principles

1. God owns everything, including your income.

The earth and all its fullness are the Lord’s, the world and all who live in it; for He has founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.  Psalm 24:1,2

2. 10% of your income is a bench mark for giving to the church. Giving to other Christian organizations and charities is above and beyond what you give to your local church.

3. When you give, give cheerfully. A cheerful giver is one who is glad to give to God because he is grateful for what He has done for him in Christ.  God blesses us for being cheerful givers.

Now this I say: he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully.  Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under complulsion: for God loves a cheerful giver.                       2 Corinthians 9:6,7

4.  Don’t allow your money or material things to become your god.

But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.  And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.  But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith, and pierced themselves with many a pang.  1 Timothy 6:6-10

5.  Don’t go into debt. This is huge!  Debt and problems with money is the #1 reason for divorce today.

The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.  Proverbs 22:7

I realize that in today’s economy, it’s next to impossible to purchase a home without obtaining a mortgage.  I’m not referring to a reasonable mortgage payment.  What I mean by reasonable is one that can be managed with one income. If it takes both incomes to get into the home, then I suggest renting a little longer until you have a larger down payment.  I’ve seen too many families go through foreclosure because one spouse lost there job or became unable to work.

If you’re already in debt or in need of help making a budget, here’s a link to an easy 60 second online budget maker. In November, 2009 I wrote an article that contains helpful suggestions for reducing financial stress in your marriage.

6. Work so you can give to those in need. We are stewards of what He has given us.  It’s not all given for our own wants, it’s about Him and what brings Him glory.  I know from personal experience, there are many who give to our ministry generously and sacrificially.   They truly live so they can give.

Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need.  Ephesians 4: 28

7.  Leave an inheritance for your children. In one form or another, we all will leave something to our children.

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.  Proverbs 13:22

There’s a saying that goes, “God can have your money and not have your heart, but He cannot have your heart without having all your money.”  That kind of goes hand in hand with Matthew 6:21 – “for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

If you need further help with your finances, you can:

1. Find a Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class to enroll in in your area.
2. Find a Crown Financial Ministries class in your area.
3. Contact me at qanda@internetcafedevotions.com.  My husband is a Dave Ramsey trained financial counselor and we both lead Financial Peace University classes.

Marsha Harwood

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