I remember laughing in agreement when I first heard this joke:
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results, which stated: “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000.”
His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to her husband, “That’s because we have to repeat everything we say.”
The husband said, “What?”
Are you laughing now and nodding your head because this sounds too familiar? Does it seem to you that your husband only hears a small fraction of your words and then has nothing to say in response? Maybe we need to stop and consider that we don’t ever give him the chance to speak. While he’s still pondering what we’ve just said and thinking about his reply we are already repeating ourselves because we assume he wasn’t listening.
There are times to speak and there are times to be silent, but if you are like me, I suspect that you often ignore the signals that tell us to be still. The signs may be easy to miss at first, but grow stronger as we continue to ramble on.. and on… and on…..
- Lack of eye contact
- Sighs or groans
- Rolling of the eyes
- Fingers drumming on the table impatiently
- Phrases similar to “Are you through yet?”
- Leaving the room
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 10:19 NLT
I don’t want to be merely background noise in my husband’s life. I want to engage him in open and honest conversation without wearing him out. I’d guess that’s your desire too?
Why not take a few moments today and ask him his opinion of how much you talk. Perhaps he’ll tell you that he’s quite content to listen to you chattering, but it might also give him the opportunity to share his own need to be heard.
Come back and share what you learn. Instead of resembling the fool described here:
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. Proverbs 18:2 NIV
let’s help each other become women who can truly say:
My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding. Psalm 49:3 NIV
Karin (HisFireFly) is a sold out disciple of Jesus Christ learning more each day what it means to abide in Him. She desires to walk in radical obedience to His voice and prays that her life brings glory to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
Karin and her beloved husband live in rural Manitoba with their dog Faith and various barn cats on 20 beautiful acres the Lord has provided for them.
Stop by for a visit at Flickers of a Faithful FireFly Karin’s personal blog about Jesus, love, prayer, and life in rural Canada